Whenever there’s hardships to overcome, a lot of people most
likely tend to give up than persevere. Depending on the factors affecting your
decision, it is always hard to understand the situation and then try to push
thru and go on.
Have you asked yourself that whenever you find yourself on a
bad situation what should you do? Do you push everything to its limit or you
just find it convenient to give up?
I have found a rather great article about that, The Art of
Giving Up.
According to that article, the world is obsessed with
stories of success, and yes, it is. There is a well-known concept in the
management literature called "the survivor bias," which refers to the
erroneous conclusions that researchers draw from focusing excessively on
successful organizations and people. Pick up any magazine, and you will see the
survivor bias in action: the stories are almost always about the successful;
very few stories focus on the failures. You might wonder why someone should
focus on failures instead.
At one level, the focus on the successful is understandable;
after all, we all want to be successful, and so, focusing on those who have
already "been there and done that" would seem appropriate.
However, there is a flip side. An obsession with success can
have negative side effects on what arguably matters even more in life: being
happy. Thus, anyone cannot find happiness, you just keep on pursuing it.
Kids today face tremendous pressure to persevere to succeed,
but is such success worth it?
One of the key drivers of success is perseverance and a
"never say die" attitude. Not everyone are equipped with this kind of
attitude. This is epitomized in a variety of sayings, such as according to a
quote by the South African Golfer Gary Player, "the harder you work, the
luckier you get," and "Never, never, never, give up" which is made
famous by Winston Churchill. The focus on hard work and achieving success
appears to have reached a feverish pitch in recent years: Even kids in
kindergarten are reminded of the importance of perseverance. You can personally
check that out thru your children, if you got any. Children today are so
overworked that they don't get the requisite amount of sleep, not to mention
not having enough physical playtime, thanks to all those gadgets. All this hard
work and focus on goals has probably enhanced our productivity, but what is not
as well-known is the cost at which such success is earned.
There is one saying attributed to Albert Einstein, it goes:
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting
different results."
Now, let’s come to our senses and talk about failures…
There is a guy named Jesse Itzler.
He tells the story of a Navy SEAL whom he cold-called and
invited to live with him and his family for month.
We might have different reactions and views about this.
Itzler says he first met this unnamed Navy SEAL at a race.
The SEAL was quite a large man and he ended up breaking all the little bones in
his feet, but still finishing.
Well, the race was 100 miles long.
Itzler thought the SEAL could teach him a thing or two.
About, perhaps, pain and insanity. So he asked the SEAL to live at his house
for a while.
The minute he arrived, of course the SEAL decided to test
Itzler. That's just the way SEALs are.
The first test involved pull-ups.
Itzler failed constantly. He managed six, then fewer, then
fewer still. It’s harder than anyone could thought.
The SEAL, being a kind spirit, forced him to do 100. It took
a long time, but he did it.
"It showed me that there's so much more that we're
capable of than we think we are," says Itzler.
He says the SEAL told him: "When your mind is telling
you you're done, you're really only 40 percent done."
You should have realized by now that everything you thought
you could do but then surrender in the middle, your mind is winning the battle
over you. You must keep on pushing then, because you’re only 40 percent done.
The thought, uplifting, yet frightening at the same time.
Itzler says that the SEAL's motto was: "If it doesn't
suck, we don't do it."
That shows deep determination.
For the SEAL, though, it's about realizing where your
comfort level is and completely ignoring it.
Sometimes, though, it truly is hard to know whether
something is worth doing. You just have to figure that out yourself.
One of the elements of giving up involves suddenly knowing
that the thing you're pursuing isn't as valuable or exciting as you thought.
Or is that the highly intelligent way that we fool ourselves
into giving up?
Most of us sacrifice our present-day enjoyment for the sake
of a future that may never really arrive. Researchers interviewed people in the
winter years of their life, and asked them what they would change about their
past if they could re-live their lives. Findings from one study revealed that
people consistently wished that they had been a little less work-oriented, that
is, a little less focused on being successful, and a little more
pleasure-orientated, that is, a little more focused on enjoying life.
The million-dollar question, of course, is: how does one
decide when to give up a particular goal? This is not an easy question to
answer, which is why deciding which goals to give up, and when, is an art
rather than a science. Perhaps no single answer is appropriate for everyone.
However, if you feel that you are highly stressed (e.g., if you need sleeping
pills to fall asleep), and if you feel that your stress is mainly due to your
obsession with goal-attainment (as opposed to, say, failing health or poor
relationships), you could take it as a sign that you are too goal-directed for
your own good.
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future,
concentrate the mind on the present moment -Buddha.
Cheerio!
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